Nearly all funeral services, no matter the religion or culture reflected, include a eulogy. Someone close to the deceased can deliver this speech about their life, or the priest or celebrant can deliver it on your behalf. These speeches have roots in Ancient Greece and Rome and became popular in the modern world in the 1970s in America, and they’ve become increasingly commonplace in the decades since.
The first tip, if you’ve been asked to give a eulogy, is that you don’t have to be too formal. While there are suggestions on how to write a eulogy, you have control over the structure. You don’t have to write the full speech out if you don’t want to; you could just write a few notes and leave room to bring up some cherished memories and even some funny anecdotes when the time feels right. You’re celebrating the person’s life, and while it’s of course going to be a sad event, there’s room for a little joy too, especially if your loved one was jovial in life. If you’re asking the priest or celebrant to deliver it for you, you likely will have to write out the whole eulogy, but you can still use a conversational, informal tone if that feels right. If delivering it yourself, you could speak directly to your loved one, as that may help you relax and view your eulogy as a goodbye directed to them.
What Makes a Eulogy Memorable
Once you know what makes a good eulogy, it will be easier to start. A great eulogy is filled with emotion and picks out some of your loved one’s best achievements and life milestones. You should leave those listening with a sense of the impact your loved one had on those around them. This will show why they will be missed and that they had a life well-lived.
A good eulogy not only honours the memory of the person but also serves as a positive step toward healing from the grief of their loss. While it is an important part of the service, if you’ve been asked to write and deliver it, try to see it as an honour rather than something to worry about.
How to Start Writing Your Eulogy
We’d recommend giving yourself as much time as you can to write the eulogy because you want to give it your all, and you’ll likely need to give yourself some breaks if you get upset. There’s no set rule on how long it should be, but they tend to be around 10 minutes, which works out to 1,000 words if you’re writing the whole thing out. To start, we’d recommend creating a rough timeline of their life so you can see the achievements you’d like to include and looking for photos or videos of your loved one to see what precious memories they bring up. It is sure to be emotional discovering all these memories, but this is the best place to start from, as you’ll create a personal tribute that those attending are sure to remember. Make sure to reach out to your support system at this time, and you could always ask a friend or family member to stand up with you when you deliver the eulogy to help calm you down. We’d also recommend practising the speech a few times before the funeral, as most people get nervous when public speaking, so rehearsal can help.
It’s difficult to give eulogy examples as they’re all so different, but there are a few points we’d recommend you include. Start by mentioning their close family, such as children and partner, where they were born, and whether they’d had any other names or nicknames. After this, it’s time to focus on their life. You could start with their childhood achievements before moving on to discussing their choice of study or first job. You could then talk a little about their ongoing career, but we’d recommend more of a focus on the person, such as their hobbies, travel history, and favourite sayings. Finally, mention the legacy you think they’ve left behind. If you see smiles, tears, and even a few chuckles from those attending, you’ll know you did a good job of capturing the person.
At Gardenia Funerals, we have a passion for helping you create memorable services to say goodbye to your loved ones. Find out more about our team here.